Best homie, Dustina, is getting married.
We wisked her away last weekend to celebrate and SHOWER her (get it) with love and friendship and way too much food and also jokesjokesjokes.
Let me walk you through the weekend:
Friday DOUBLE Kleinfelds appointments, fitting for Dustina's-make-you-cry-because-she's-just-too-effing-pretty dress
followed by shopping for my homie, Erika's gown.
What we learned? It's hard to find a dress, Dustina is pretty and I'm really good at Kleinfelds.
Then we went to the Hudson Valley. To a house next to a pond next to another pond next to a lake. WITH PADDLE BOATS AND MAYBE A GIANT FISH MONSTER.
Our fine ass bestie, Juliette, catered. It ruled.
We had a photobooth. With fascinators.
And English tea.
I wrote a roast with puppets and also rapped.
Someone else made a video.
We all got feelingsey.
Then played cards against humanity.
And I walked away knowing, with certainty, that friendships like the ones I have with these ladies are special. We've grown up together, been messy together, told an obscene amount of yourmom/yourbutt jokes together and have experienced a remarkable level of intimacy just by sticking it out, showing up and sometimes being vulnerable.
These b's are the ones I would turn to if I, like, needed a kidney. It's that real.
History is kind of an amazing thing, sometimes.
So is full on love.
Fanciest wedding I may ever go to.
IT WAS LIKE PROM.
CONGRATS TO THE BEAUTIFUL COUPLE.
Check out my banging group of best lady friends
My immensely awesome friends Jamie and Asher are getting married tomorrow at the New York Public Library. It's going to be faaaancy. Jamie's going to look like a princess. I'm probably going to look like a really weird mermaid. Weddings are totally sometimes like grown up prom.
Anyway. Jamie and Asher are really special and so I recorded a rapping e-card for them dressed like a garden gnome named Schmuel.
Things to know: Jamie wanted a Christmas tree one year. On account of, you know, Judaism, Asher said no. So, they created GNOMENON, where they can, at any moment in the entire month of december, give each other a gnome gift. It's genius. And yes, friends, they are getting married during gnomenon.
Other things to know:
-They have a same sex Ketubah (marriage contract) because they're cool and gender etc.
-Chatah means Groom. Kallah means bride.
-Asher makes furniture. His last name is Israelow. She is taking it.
-Daven is to pray
-There will inevitably be women not dressed appropriately when we're at B'nai Jeshurun, the temple where the actual ceremony is
-People call it BJ
-I've never successfully embedded a video to my website before
Featured here my hat twinsie/director friend Jaki Bradley.
Not featured here: the pile of macrobiotic food we ate while talking about life and plays and boys and families and hats while staring deeply into each others eyes while also wearing substantial sweaters.
Lori Baldwin is here.
Lori Baldwin is one of my favorite friends.
Lori Baldwin and I went to college together. We love each other.
Sometimes you need a little jolt from your ex pat friends who live in Budapest who want to do ceremonies around their old computers before they buy a new one.
And who you make oat flour blueberry pancakes with and laugh about ODB.
Because there are some people that, no matter how long you're apart, you just pick up where you left off. Even if you've grown. There's no reintroduction.
There are some people who make you feel good about the world.
Most times, people are the greatest activator for possibility.
She's the kind of friend that makes me feel like a Macklemore song. Socially conscious. Fun. Like dancing.
Yes, I like Macklemore.
No, I won't apologize for it,
I have this intense group of lady friends. They're individually and collectively the tits. We're all pretty into each other. Some of them have large glasses and they all have big dreams. We've loved each other for a while.
One just emailed me to inform me that she was watching 13 Going on 30. When I was 18 I ran away to her house (granted I was legally an adult but I was still living with my parents in all my hormoney splendor).
It reminded me of the simple truth that Pat Benetar and PJ's can just do a sister right.
Yeah I said that.
No, I won't take it back.
As can Mark Ruffalo's face.
I am an optimist.